Redhead Fangirl has a post that discusses, among other things, what happens to women with hobbies and other interests when thave have children. Specifically, that the hobbies and other interests often disappear.
You know, I've not seen that happen to myself or my friends, but I'll have to admit that I don't know for sure that I wouldn't have dropped the comic hobby, at least temporarily, when the now-thirteen-year-old was born. That's because she was born during my approximately-ten-year comic hiatus. Both of the girls were, actually. They were children of the 90s. So if the 90s comics themselves hadn't driven me away, I suppose it's possible that the kid thing might have, for a while. I don't know, obviously. It certainly didn't keep me from picking them up again in the early 00s.
RF is right, however, in that there's something of a cultural expectation that when a woman becomes a mother, her focus will turn to parenthood and away from anything else. That placing importance on anything other than parenthood is frivolous. The first part of that is true, certainly--it's hard to think much beyond what's for dinner when you've only had 2 hours of sleep. (Fortunately, babies get older, and parents eventually get to sleep.) The second part, I really haven't seen much of. I've known a few women online who have been focused almost entirely on their kids. (Felt pretty sorry for the kids. :)) But I don't think it's that common. Most dull mothers were dull long before they had kids in tow.
There is also (and I think this may be more recent) a cultural thing where it is more acceptable for men to hang on to their toys after reaching adulthood than it is for women. The male business executive who spends his weekends working on his model trains is seen as perhaps a bit eccentric (in the mainstream view), but tolerably so. The female business executive who collects Barbie dolls is not. Not sure where comic books fit in, but you get the idea.
And yes, obviously there are sacrifices associated with parenthood. There are sacrifices associated with any life choice--if you choose to do one thing, you are eliminating certain other possibilities. But if you think that your life choices require you always to ignore all of your own needs for any one of the perceived needs of others, well, that's a problem.
1 comment:
Well-said. I too went through a hiatus from comics when I had my kids. For a while anyway. At one point I had THREE in diapers, and that doesn't leave you with a lot of discretionary time.
But once they were all in school, I could no longer resist that old siren call, and yes, I started picking up comics again. DURING the 90's no less!
Everyone should have at least one supremely silly obsession, otherwise, they end up devouring one another, because they have no inner resources. Nothing is more terrifying than a mother who devotes herself COMPLETELY to her children. Brrrrr!
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